Saturday, January 26, 2013

Changing the Rules

I guess because each kid is so different, as a mom I have to parent differently. I am already finding this to be the case and my 2nd child is not even a month old. Peyton was a very easy child and I was able to "parent by the book." I adhered to all the rules so to speak. She nursed well from the beginning, slept great on her back waking every 4 hours to eat, etc, etc, etc.

Jovie girl is a little different and I have found that I am quite different with her. Things I never thought I would do, I do. And things I was so obsessed with the first time, I am not now. Examples? Well, let me explain...

First and I think the biggest is sleeping. I swore #1. that no child would sleep in my bed. Well, lo and behold, every night this week I haven't even attempted Jovie's crib next to the bed and she has just come straight to bed with us. It is easy and she sleeps better, ere go... And #2. I would never be comfortable with my baby sleeping on their belly. Well, in my bed, my baby is sleeping on her tummy- and I'm just fine with it as long as she is sleeping. (Since this post has taken me 4 days to write (didn't save once when I was nearly finished) I have since moved thee small babe to her bed on her belly and she actually sleeps there pretty good). So I will now reserve judgement on parents just trying to keep sane and changing the rules a bit. Plus, to make me feel better I keep reminding myself that when we were babies we all slept on our stomachs and we are just fine.... right? Right?!

Other things include the fact that I am, hmmmm, how would I word this? A little less careful with Jovie than I was with Peyton. I have bumped her into things a few times (nothing big or bad) but with bending over often to help Peyt, and moving quickly to do things, basically caring for a toddler, I find that maybe I am not as overly cautious as I once was. I also don't fret about making sure Jovie "looks like a girl" with bows and pink all the time like I did with Peyton. Our girls are little buddies as babies and that is okay. Looks aren't as important as trying (mostly failing) to get places on time, and just getting places period. Plus most bows dent baby's head and it makes me feel sad and guilty, so unless a whole lot of people will see her, I don't feel like inflicting any unnecessary pain. She is usually the last one I worry about, as she can be taken care of once we get there most of the time. Speaking of that, I also find I have to let her cry a little more instead of rushing to hold her as soon as she squawks because I am trying to do something else that has to be done. So, I have heard a little more crying from this one than I would like... besides, I am sad to say she prefers me to anyone. I can be holding her peacefully and the moment I transfer her to Wes she starts fussing. But, I let him hold her fussing anyway just to shower and get things done. This makes her sound more fussy than she is, because her crying is not a common occurrence really... but it does happen, especially if she is hungry. Have I mentioned that this one still has such a hard time staying awake during feedings, which is difficult. And, I try everything to keep her awake, it doesn't work people. Trust.

Anyway, baby #2 is giving me a new perspective and it has been a real eye opener. I thought I knew what I was doing, and I am finding their is a big learning curve the second time around. So, this should be fun. But, I am also glad to say I feel like I am getting a good feel for 2 kids... well, so far.


Markie said...

It sounds like Jovie is pretty similar to how Ellie was when she was a newborn. I had to bend the rules a lot to keep my sanity. At first I felt bad, but then I realized how well rested I was and how I was figuring out how to get things done, so I stopped feeling guilty. I was still able to do the "by the book" rules, but just a little later than some people. Every child really is different, I hope I can figure things out when our guy gets here.

Lindsay said...

I hear ya april! Baby #2 is still making me crazy! haha, he is the world's worst sleeper in the world! I am like you... tummy sleeper all the way, we all survived just fine =)

Karla said...

Love all of this. Thanks for being so open.