Last night my Jovie had a hard time sleeping. So I think it was sometime around the 5 o'clock hour and I had maybe been asleep for about 30 minutes (after our last nursing session) when I heard Peyton crying in her room. This caught both Wes and I off guard because she never wakes up, and never ever wakes up crying. So in a dazed flash I was up and in her room to comfort her. I think she had a bad dream because she kept commenting on a door??? Anyway, I picked her up, sat in the chair and rocked her for a bit. I love when I get her in the middle of the night out of bed because it is rare to cuddle so long with her. (Sometime I get her just because). As I was holding and rocking her she had her eyes closed and asked for "just one little song," which I happily (and sleepily) complied to. As I was singing I stared down at her sweet face and just took my girl in. As I was looking down at her and singing, she opened her eyes and stared back at me. I smiled at her, and she did the sweetest smile I've ever seen back at me. My heart about exploded with love and adoration for that little girl of mine, who looked and felt giant in my arms. I then put her back in bed and laid back down in mine.
As I was laying in my bed tears started streaming down my face, then I was crying pretty good. Wes concerned asked what was the matter. I laughed at myself and explained to him how sweet her smile was, and how my heart was both overflowing with love, and a little with sadness at how big she was getting and how quickly she was growing up.
I was especially grateful I got to hold her last night because I had rushed her bedtime routine to catch the end of a basketball game. I know Wes would have done it in a heartbeat had I hesitated. I was grateful the Lord thought to give me a second chance to just quietly hold my "baby." In quiet moments I realize how truly blessed I am that I get to mother. And, I also realize how quickly children grow. And while I am so anxious to get to sleep for longer intervals, I need to take in every moment I can with each of my children and enjoy the special one-on-one time I am granted with them whenever the chance arises.