Saturday, November 24, 2012

Guilty

I have an admission to make on this blog. I suffer from a very real and very hard illness. It's called "Middle-child Syndrome" also known as MCS. You see even though their are 4 of us kids, I feel like the "real" middle child being the middle girl in the middle of the lineup. And, I definitely suffer from this syndrome more than Heidi for some reason. Because of my illness, I am quite guilt ridden having another child.

Poor Peyton's world is about to be turned upside down, and it truly and honestly stresses me out. In the beginning of this pregnancy I had a few tears feeling so bad about it. Plus, more than once I have felt overcome with guilt over it. Granted I know it is the right thing to do. I know Peyton is going to love having a playmate, and I also know this won't be the only time I do this to our children. However, I worry I won't be able to show enough love to them both. I worry that I will be inadequate at meeting their individual needs, or saying the right thing. I even worry I won't love this second child as much as the first .. though every parent and friend I have says that I need not worry about that. And the closer I get to meeting this little one the less I worry about these things. I haven't stopped worrying about the changes that are sure to occur. Having 2 kids seems absolutely ludicrous to me.

I just have to work through the middle child issues I face I suppose. :) Plus, we all know 3rd children are kinda the best, right?! It didn't help that I was always the "black sheep" in my blonde haired family either.

Now, enjoy this gem.

2 comments:

Heidi Broberg said...

I'm 2/4 is all I have to say...ha ha

Heidi Broberg said...

And at least you had an older sister who could tell you, dont perm your hair like that and wear cat shirts.